Coupling the Evidence of Change (EOC) and the “I Am…blank” concepts can create dramatic and very real changes. If you journal—which I highly recommend—then your experiences working with these two ideas can provide great opportunities for self-awareness and growth.
When you feel resistance to what you’re experiencing, ask yourself, “I Am feeling…what?”
For example, if you’re watching a stock you own and the price is going down, you might feel bad. So you ask yourself, “I Am feeling…what?” You might reply, “I’m feeling bad. I’m feeling angry at myself for not selling sooner. I’m feeling stupid.” So on and so forth. Those thoughts can easily translate into “I Am stupid. I don’t deserve success. I don’t deserve the respect of others.”
For example, if you’re watching a stock you own and the price is going down, you might feel bad. So you ask yourself, “What am I feeling? You might reply, “I’m feeling bad. I’m feeling angry at myself for not selling sooner. I’m feeling stupid.” So on and so forth. Those thoughts can easily translate into “I am stupid. I don’t deserve success. I don’t deserve the respect of others.” Suddenly you’re on a “mood elevator” that’s falling fast.
Anger has its roots in fear. When you feel angry (“I Am angry”), what are you afraid of? Using the stock example, you’re probably afraid of losing money. You start thinking about all the negative implications of losing money and what that can mean for you and the people you care about. Such thoughts and feelings will impact how you think and feel about yourself.
Okay, now that you know this, use the Evidence of Change (EOC) and the “I Am…concepts” to turn things around. First, acknowledge what you’re feeling: I’m feeling afraid. I’m afraid of losing money. I’m afraid of how that will impact my life. I’m afraid of what others will think of me. Common sense tells you that if you’re going to change something or improve it, you have to first acknowledge that it exists. Acknowledging “what is” also helps slow down the falling elevator. You’re not denying “what is.” You’re taking a breath and clearly focusing on what’s really happening.
Your resistance in this situation (losing money on your stock) indicates that you are “attached” to the stock, the stock price, etc. It has become part of the way you—and perhaps others—perceive you. That attachment causes you to feel bad about yourself when the stock value declines and to feel better about yourself when it rises. You become like a human pinball, flipped about by external forces over which you appear to have no control.
I’m assuming that you’re aware of, and working on, becoming less attached to What Is (not “detached”; see material re: Non-Attachment elsewhere). I can safely make that assumption because while you may not have totally accomplished your goal of non-attachment—as is evidenced by this upsetting experience—you are making progress—as is evidenced by this level of self-awareness (you are observing and acknowledging your attachment to your stock’s behavior). More evidence of your increasing self-awareness is the fact that you’re now going use the EOC and I Am… concepts to feel better. For example:
1. Acknowledge What Is
Although I’m becoming less and less attached to What Is, in this instance I was attached to What Is and I was afraid.
2. Observe Evidence of Change
Becoming aware of my attachments and acknowledging them helps me become less attached to What Is. This increasing level of self-awareness allows me to appreciate and enjoy What Is even more.
3. Embrace the Evidence of Change and USE that “proof” to feel better
The process of self-awareness is a work in progress. Even so, I see real improvement and feel myself becoming less and less attached to What Is. This observation and the level of self-awareness that comes with it, is actual proof that, while I may still experience challenges, I’m definitely making progress and moving in the right direction. Actually knowing this makes me feel better. Now.